Management

Why can't Jennifer Aniston find a decent movie to star in? Not that Management was indecent, or even that bad, but it was just . . . okay. Which is the assessment I would give every other Jennifer Aniston movie I've seen. Some have been sweet, some have been funny, some have been entertaining--most have been a mix of all three--but there's not an Instant Classic or even a New Favorite among them. Well, Office Space is a contender. But I argue that it's the script of that movie that is the genius of its soul, and Joanna the Waitress could have been played by any number of cute twenty-something actresses.

Anyway, Management is not Office Space. But it is somewhat sweet and somewhat funny and, for what it is (a cautionary tale against feeding a stray puppy that you don't really want to keep), it's a relatively worthwhile way of helping to pass the time while folding laundry or washing dishes.

By the way, is it just me, or does Steve Zahn look weirdly like Michael J Fox in this picture?

Julie & Julia

I wasn't overly excited about watching this movie. I vaguely remember hearing it was boring or dull or slow or something along those lines. There's just something about women finding and following their passion that sounds like it belongs in the same category as an "extraordinary true story" or a "heartwarming experience" or . . . or . . . I don't know, some other sappy cliché about inspiration that would be used to describe The Blind Side.

So I was surprised to find that I actually enjoyed this movie. And even more surprised to feel I could not stop watching it. I was sure there was something wrong with me. Because it actually was inspiring to watch Julie and Julia find and follow their passions, and under normal circumstances I don't do inspiring.

Speaking of inspiring, how could this movie not make me want to blog again? And really (I swear!) this had nothing to do with harboring an absurd hope that my blogs will ever turn into anything more than a trivial pursuit for me. Instead, it was all because I was reminded of how much I enjoy blogging purely for the sake of blogging alone.

An observation: Meryl Streep is so affected in this movie. It would have been really annoying if her portrayal wasn't so perfect an impersonation of the real Julia Child.

And something I learned: Did you know that if you don't dry meat, it won't brown properly? Now I know why I've been rinsing my chicken and patting it dry all these years.

The Slums of Beverly Hills

This is one of those weird little comedies that's more depressing than funny. It doesn't veer off into drama territory, fortunately, but it's definitely not one of those feel-good movies. And I'm kind of surprised they didn't just call it "Breasts," as that body part seems to be the major theme. (Though I must warn you, if you're now planning to watch this movie based on that statement, you'll probably be disappointed. I didn't say it should have been called "All Breasts All The Time.")

And I just realized that the reason I didn't see Alan Alda anywhere in this movie is that he and Alan Arkin are actually two different people.

Swingers

Can't remember when I first started watching this one (it has to have been months ago), but I just now picked up the last 15 minutes of it. I also can't remember what I thought of the first 81 minutes, but evidently they weren't enthralling enough to keep me going until the end. So, all I can think to say about this movie now is that it's strange to see Vince Vaughn in a time before he was puffy and unattractive. I almost didn't recognize him.

Strangely, though, I was halfway tempted to watch the movie again just to see the swing dancing scene (which I couldn't remember at all, but it was mentioned during the last 15 minutes of the movie). I always did like those GAP ads. I wish I could dance like that! But hey, YouTube to the rescue. Now I don't have to watch the movie again.

License to Drive

Man, this was a stupid movie. Maybe if I'd seen it when it first came out (I was fourteen!) I would have loved it. But now that I'm old and crotchety, I guess I'm well past the age where I might have appreciated this drivel. It's certainly nowhere near Clueless caliber.

Dull plot and lackluster script aside, not even The Coreys were enough to rescue it for me--not least because they weren't anywhere near as cute as I remember. Although I suppose it shouldn't bother me a bit that I no longer find teenage boys attractive.

The best parts about this movie: Corey Haim's old, pregnant mom (who, by the way, I recognized from The Princess Bride; I wish she'd had the same line in this movie: "I'm not a witch, I'm your wife!") who reminded me of me, and the fact that now I can remove License to Drive from my netflix queue. One down, 290 to go . . .

Keith

According to netflix: "Natalie is high school royalty, but her status crumbles when she falls for--and soon befriends--new guy Keith, who seems to be hiding something." So sue me if I was surprised and disappointed to find that Keith's secret wasn't more sinister, though I suppose I should have realized this as the movie was labeled an indie drama rather than a psychological thriller. At least this wasn't a Nicholas Sparks Shameless Tearjerker like A Walk To Remember, even if (as it turns out) this is the same story with the roles reversed. I may never forgive my friend Kristy for tricking me into going to the movie theater to see that one. Funny thing, though: I think that same friend Kristy looks a whole lot like Natalie in this movie.

Middle of Nowhere

I'm knocking movies out of my netflix queue one by one. I think it's possible that I've finally reached the point where I am watching movies more often than I'm adding to my list of movies to watch. Obvs this is not because I'm watching so many movies; it's just that it seems (though I'm sure this isn't possible) that all of the great (and good, and even merely mediocre) movies are either in my queue already, or I've previously watched them.

So. This is the story of a somewhat unlikely summer friendship between college hopeful Grace and poor little rich boy Dorian who has fallen on hard times. They meet through their soul-killing jobs working for a local water park, and bond through their scheme to rake in the money by selling pot.

Consider Middle of Nowhere another mediocre movie. It's Adventureland without the comedic timing of Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig . . . it's Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist without the lovely Kat Dennings . . . it's Star Wars without Han Solo. (OK, right. This movie is nothing like Star Wars. But if it were, it would be missing that essential ingredient.)

Funny, I seem to remember I really liked Anton Yelchin in Charlie Bartlett. But here he was just sort of meh.

Friends With Benefits vs. No Strings Attached

Here's another pair for my list of oddly similar movies. The same sentence could describe either plotline: Two friends agree to add uncomplicated casual sex to their relationship and are SHOCKED to find they can't set their emotions aside.

I'm probably too tough a judge of romantic comedies (as far as I'm concerned, there are very few that are worth watching multiple times--and too many that aren't even worth one shot), so take it with a grain of salt when I say both of these movies are basically just mediocre. They are surprisingly different from each other, given the inherent similarities, but I award FWB the edge solely because of Mila Kunis. That girl is funny. And I love her voice. And she is simultaneously cute and sexy. Of course I think Natalie Portman is absolutely beautiful, but she just doesn't seem to fit in this kind of movie. It's as if, try as she might to resist, she can't hide the fact that a romcom is beneath her.

Both movies had their funny moments; either would be a pleasant (if brainless) way to spend an evening when you have nothing better to do. But here's an even better suggestion: why not just watch Pretty Woman or Clueless again?

Dirty Pretty Things

This movie was not AT ALL what I expected. I was thinking black comedy a la Very Bad Things (because both movies have a three-word title, the third word being "things," I guess?) but I was very, very far off. Although dark, this was not a comdey. But it was certainly an engrossing film.

It's the story of two illegal immigrants in London who work at a posh hotel. But not all is as pretty as it seems, the dirty side first becoming evident when Nigerian desk clerk Okwe fishes a human heart out of the toilet in Room 510.

Beyond being a dramatic thriller, Dirty Pretty Things also raises some interesting questions. When you live in a grey area, how do you choose between right and wrong? Or, more likely, how do you choose which wrong is less wrong?

Oh, and I really like Audrey Tautou for being so cute. Or pretty. Or both.

Red Riding Hood

Take your classic love triangle and throw in a fairy tale and a werewolf and what do you get? Red Riding Hood. I took a chance on a long shot and bought the DVD. And while I did not find it to be my new favorite movie, at least I don't completely regret the purchase. I liked some parts (the ones my twelve-year-old son would hate: the kissy stuff) and rolled my eyes during other scenes, but overall I must admit it's not an entirely awful movie.

It's a little bit awful, though. Here's a sampling of the STELLAR dialogue:

Henry: "You need me." 

Peter: "Okay. Fine. But if you're the wolf, I'm going to chop your head off."

Henry: "I will do the same to you."

Peter: "Fair enough." 

This movie was totally Twilight, from the opening scene flying over piney mountains to Peter with his quintessential Edward hair (and similarly wooden acting) to the score, which sounded to me like it could certainly have been written by Carter Burwell (but it wasn't) and the soundtrack, which I was certain was compiled by Alexandra Patsavas (but it wasn't). The movie was, however, directed by Catherine Hardwicke, and I think her style was evident.

(Yep, you caught me. I know far too much about Twilight.)

So, good things about the movie? I literally clapped my hands when Gary Oldman stepped out of his carriage. Not that his presence guarantees a worthwhile film (see The Fifth Element--not that there's anything wrong with that one--it's just not exactly an example of High Cinema), but he did lend a much-needed note of gravitas to an otherwise frivolous cast. There was some pretty cinematography, too, to go with the pretty people. Not sure if I'll ever watch it again, but I suppose I'll appreciate the fact that I can if I want to!

Catching up with mini-reviews

I have come to the conclusion that I will never, ever manage to blog about all of the movies I've watched over the past eight months (even though there haven't been that many), and in order to get past this backlog and get back on the blogging train I need to publish a composite post and be done with it. So here ya go:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part Two

My son first said it was too loud and there were too many explosions. Just a few weeks later (without re-watching it!) his opinion had changed and it had become the Best Movie Ever. I think I must have liked it, but it was also kind of just obligatory for a Harry Potter fan.

Breaking Dawn Part One

I'm really only watching (and buying!) these movies out of a sense of duty at this point--I've got to finish what I started. This one was about what I expected. That is neither praise nor condemnation.

Source Code

THIS was a good movie. I was afraid it was going to be Groundhog Day, sci-fi style, but it was WAY better than that. It's good! Watch it! I will watch it with you!

The Help 

Excellent book, excellent movie. They captured Minny Jackson to a T. She was my favorite, and she was hilarious. Just as in the book, Hilly Holbrook is the only character without a good side to balance out the bad; but Opie's daughter did a bang-up job in bringing her character to the screen.

Babe: Pig in the City

I do not recommend this movie, whether for adults (it's depressing!) or for kids (they found it boring). I know, I know, it's a sequel and I should have written it off for that fact alone. You definitely need to watch the original, though. It's fantastic.

All Good Things

I honestly don't remember if I even finished watching this movie, and I honestly don't care. But it must have come to an end because, well, you know what they say about all good things. (Hey! Stop throwing your popcorn at me.) Anyway, I remember that some guy (probably, more than likely) maybe kills his wife. I don't remember much more than that. It is based on a true story, though.

Gnomeo and Juliet

The kids liked it. Sorry, that's all I've got.

Chapter 27

An interesting look at John Lennon's last few days through the eyes of his killer, Mark David Chapman (who, by the way, is still alive--did you know that?). The movie's title is in reference to the fact that the book The Catcher in the Rye has only 26 chapters.




Ahhh, I feel much better now.

Sliding Doors

I'd seen this one before, but it has been a sufficient number of years since my first viewing to allow me to forget most of the plot. Thus, it was almost like watching a brand new movie.

Of course I don't remember what I thought of it the first time around, but my opinion the second time is that it wasn't half bad. It's not a movie I would watch on endless loop, but for a romantic comedy it was actually pretty intriguing. It's a story of what-ifs, portraying the two different paths Helen's life would have taken merely based on either catching a train or arriving on the platform just after the doors slide closed (hence the title). Thanks to two totally different hairstyles (see the picture?), it is fairly easy to follow the movie's jumps from path to path, and (is this a spoiler? not really, since I'm not giving you any details) it's great the way the split lives are woven back together at the end. I think that says something interesting about Fate, which I'm not sure I believe in but I'm sure I would like to.

A fun diversion, even watched across three evenings (the way I did it). But if you find Gwyneth Paltrow annoying I'm not sure how you'll handle it, especially if English-accented-Gwyneth is more annoying than the usual.