Saturday, July 30, 2011

Surfwise

Maybe my family isn't so weird after all.

Surfwise is the true story of the Paskowitz family: nine children and their parents, Dorian ("Doc") and Juliette, who spent years crammed into a teeny tiny travel trailer, living on the fringes of society and surfing whenever they could.

Doc eschewed money, espoused simple living, and tried to teach his children the difference between education and knowledge. He wanted to give them the opportunity to learn from life experiences rather than from schooling, allowing his children no formal education whatsoever. But it didn't work. Their life was like a failed experiment.

Doc admits that many times he was "far too radical and far too tight-fisted" in raising his children. He realized, too late, that "a real man should control himself before he controls his children." He feels he failed to give his children "the tools that invent opportunity," when that was what he most wanted to do. He did provide his family with "love, togetherness, food, clothing, shelter, diet, exercise," but at what cost?

The cost is evident in the range of reactions among his nine children. Most of them have rejected their upbringing and the family is splintered, though one of the boys asserts that "even a flawed family that sticks together is better than no family at all." I can't believe it, but one of the nine actually plans on "keeping the dream alive," intending to put his children through the same childhood his dad forced him to live . . . only on a boat instead of in a camper.

Surfwise exemplifies something my own parents (unintentionally) taught me: trying to keep tight control over your children is like trying to squeeze a wet bar of soap. Sooner or later it ends up out of your hands and farther away from you than you'd ever wanted.

Funny how so many of the kids look nothing like the dad . . .