Friends With Benefits vs. No Strings Attached

Here's another pair for my list of oddly similar movies. The same sentence could describe either plotline: Two friends agree to add uncomplicated casual sex to their relationship and are SHOCKED to find they can't set their emotions aside.

I'm probably too tough a judge of romantic comedies (as far as I'm concerned, there are very few that are worth watching multiple times--and too many that aren't even worth one shot), so take it with a grain of salt when I say both of these movies are basically just mediocre. They are surprisingly different from each other, given the inherent similarities, but I award FWB the edge solely because of Mila Kunis. That girl is funny. And I love her voice. And she is simultaneously cute and sexy. Of course I think Natalie Portman is absolutely beautiful, but she just doesn't seem to fit in this kind of movie. It's as if, try as she might to resist, she can't hide the fact that a romcom is beneath her.

Both movies had their funny moments; either would be a pleasant (if brainless) way to spend an evening when you have nothing better to do. But here's an even better suggestion: why not just watch Pretty Woman or Clueless again?

Dirty Pretty Things

This movie was not AT ALL what I expected. I was thinking black comedy a la Very Bad Things (because both movies have a three-word title, the third word being "things," I guess?) but I was very, very far off. Although dark, this was not a comdey. But it was certainly an engrossing film.

It's the story of two illegal immigrants in London who work at a posh hotel. But not all is as pretty as it seems, the dirty side first becoming evident when Nigerian desk clerk Okwe fishes a human heart out of the toilet in Room 510.

Beyond being a dramatic thriller, Dirty Pretty Things also raises some interesting questions. When you live in a grey area, how do you choose between right and wrong? Or, more likely, how do you choose which wrong is less wrong?

Oh, and I really like Audrey Tautou for being so cute. Or pretty. Or both.

Red Riding Hood

Take your classic love triangle and throw in a fairy tale and a werewolf and what do you get? Red Riding Hood. I took a chance on a long shot and bought the DVD. And while I did not find it to be my new favorite movie, at least I don't completely regret the purchase. I liked some parts (the ones my twelve-year-old son would hate: the kissy stuff) and rolled my eyes during other scenes, but overall I must admit it's not an entirely awful movie.

It's a little bit awful, though. Here's a sampling of the STELLAR dialogue:

Henry: "You need me." 

Peter: "Okay. Fine. But if you're the wolf, I'm going to chop your head off."

Henry: "I will do the same to you."

Peter: "Fair enough." 

This movie was totally Twilight, from the opening scene flying over piney mountains to Peter with his quintessential Edward hair (and similarly wooden acting) to the score, which sounded to me like it could certainly have been written by Carter Burwell (but it wasn't) and the soundtrack, which I was certain was compiled by Alexandra Patsavas (but it wasn't). The movie was, however, directed by Catherine Hardwicke, and I think her style was evident.

(Yep, you caught me. I know far too much about Twilight.)

So, good things about the movie? I literally clapped my hands when Gary Oldman stepped out of his carriage. Not that his presence guarantees a worthwhile film (see The Fifth Element--not that there's anything wrong with that one--it's just not exactly an example of High Cinema), but he did lend a much-needed note of gravitas to an otherwise frivolous cast. There was some pretty cinematography, too, to go with the pretty people. Not sure if I'll ever watch it again, but I suppose I'll appreciate the fact that I can if I want to!

Catching up with mini-reviews

I have come to the conclusion that I will never, ever manage to blog about all of the movies I've watched over the past eight months (even though there haven't been that many), and in order to get past this backlog and get back on the blogging train I need to publish a composite post and be done with it. So here ya go:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part Two

My son first said it was too loud and there were too many explosions. Just a few weeks later (without re-watching it!) his opinion had changed and it had become the Best Movie Ever. I think I must have liked it, but it was also kind of just obligatory for a Harry Potter fan.

Breaking Dawn Part One

I'm really only watching (and buying!) these movies out of a sense of duty at this point--I've got to finish what I started. This one was about what I expected. That is neither praise nor condemnation.

Source Code

THIS was a good movie. I was afraid it was going to be Groundhog Day, sci-fi style, but it was WAY better than that. It's good! Watch it! I will watch it with you!

The Help 

Excellent book, excellent movie. They captured Minny Jackson to a T. She was my favorite, and she was hilarious. Just as in the book, Hilly Holbrook is the only character without a good side to balance out the bad; but Opie's daughter did a bang-up job in bringing her character to the screen.

Babe: Pig in the City

I do not recommend this movie, whether for adults (it's depressing!) or for kids (they found it boring). I know, I know, it's a sequel and I should have written it off for that fact alone. You definitely need to watch the original, though. It's fantastic.

All Good Things

I honestly don't remember if I even finished watching this movie, and I honestly don't care. But it must have come to an end because, well, you know what they say about all good things. (Hey! Stop throwing your popcorn at me.) Anyway, I remember that some guy (probably, more than likely) maybe kills his wife. I don't remember much more than that. It is based on a true story, though.

Gnomeo and Juliet

The kids liked it. Sorry, that's all I've got.

Chapter 27

An interesting look at John Lennon's last few days through the eyes of his killer, Mark David Chapman (who, by the way, is still alive--did you know that?). The movie's title is in reference to the fact that the book The Catcher in the Rye has only 26 chapters.




Ahhh, I feel much better now.

Sliding Doors

I'd seen this one before, but it has been a sufficient number of years since my first viewing to allow me to forget most of the plot. Thus, it was almost like watching a brand new movie.

Of course I don't remember what I thought of it the first time around, but my opinion the second time is that it wasn't half bad. It's not a movie I would watch on endless loop, but for a romantic comedy it was actually pretty intriguing. It's a story of what-ifs, portraying the two different paths Helen's life would have taken merely based on either catching a train or arriving on the platform just after the doors slide closed (hence the title). Thanks to two totally different hairstyles (see the picture?), it is fairly easy to follow the movie's jumps from path to path, and (is this a spoiler? not really, since I'm not giving you any details) it's great the way the split lives are woven back together at the end. I think that says something interesting about Fate, which I'm not sure I believe in but I'm sure I would like to.

A fun diversion, even watched across three evenings (the way I did it). But if you find Gwyneth Paltrow annoying I'm not sure how you'll handle it, especially if English-accented-Gwyneth is more annoying than the usual.

Old Favorite: Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

They simply don't make movies like this (or Sixteen Candles, or The Breakfast Club) anymore. No kidding, when was the last time they made a good clean high school movie that wasn't full of Serious Issues or raunchiness fit to rival Howard Stern? (If you know of some, this is where you should tell me what they are!)

Actually, I know what my problem is. I just sorely miss John Hughes (although perhaps not where the Beethoven or Home Alone movies are concerned). Mix that with a small dose of nostalgia, and there you have my love for Ferris Bueller.

Here's to stopping and looking around.

Morning Glory

After years as a netflix subscriber, I'm celebrating a new development: I can finally watch netflix movies on my TV! So what do I do? I impulsively watch a movie that wasn't even in my queue.

And what did I find? A stereotypical and saccharine romantic comedy with no surprises, wrapped up in a package that can only be described as  "heartwarming".

But Harrison Ford was in it!! I thought surely that had to count for something. Even if he was channeling the gruff-voiced and serious-faced Clint Eastwood instead of the dashing young Han Solo. But I thought wrong.

OK, it wasn't horrible. But it was formulaic and conventional and unexceptional and I should have gone to bed two hours ago instead.

I'm wondering if it was intentional that the network call sign was ibs? After watching this movie I feel I may be suffering from a bit of that myself. Or, more likely, a diabetic coma. This movie is not a fiber donut.