The Joneses

Well, this is certainly not one of those movies they call a "romp." It's a rather bitter social satire which is actually somewhat depressing. I mean, nothing like a tear-jerker (not even for you softies out there), but the slight uptick in the last 30 seconds wasn't near enough to leave me with a happy fun feeling. In fact, the sudden turnaround to a "happy ending" was more annoying than anything else. I almost didn't want it to end happily. The depressing direction it had been headed just made more sense.

I think I figured out the premise within the first thirteen minutes, which was another slight disappointment; I could have lived with a bit more suspense. I was kind of looking for someone to flip out and go on a murderous rampage (not that I'm a fan of slasher movies, but that just seemed like an obvious conclusion). The movie did have a marked turning point at one hour in, which is when everything begins to fall apart for the Joneses and becomes almost American Beauty-esque, but no homicides in this one.

Now that I've spent the entire time bashing the movie, I must say it wasn't a total waste of time. I wouldn't put it on my "Must See Movies" list, but it's not a bad movie. And it has a decent soundtrack.

The Jacket

OK, so . . . I've seen this movie before. I didn't realize it until I was about 30 minutes into it, but yep, been there done that.

This time it's actually fine by me, though, because it's a pretty good movie. It's kind of like one part The Butterfly Effect and two parts The Time Traveler's Wife mixed in with, oh, I don't know, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and a faint whiff of The Fugitive. Not a bad combination.

Man, Adrien Brody has a big schnozz. It's almost as big as that of my ex-brother-in-law, which could quite possibly be used as an umbrella for Rhode Island. And once again Keira Knightley's huge chin got on my nerves. It's a good thing those two didn't have a baby, because it would have had a nutcracker for a face.

If for nothing else, watch this movie just to see the most recent James Bond play a very convincing crazy man. You will be amazed.

Date Night

I kind of expected constant funnies from this movie. I mean, come on, it's Steve Carell and Tina Fey! But while it definitely had some good laughs about it ("I'm going to go home and fart in a shoebox"), there was too much Other Stuff that got in the way. There were times when this movie almost fell into the trap of taking itself too seriously. Like when it tried to be all sweet and heartwarming, or during action sequences with barely any dialog. Funny people need dialog!

OK, well maybe the action sequences weren't all bad. This movie may have the best car chase scene since The Blues Brothers. And Carell and Fey weren't the only funny ones. I was a fan of the cab driver, and of James Franco as sleeveless tattooed white trash who doesn't want to sell stolen wheelchairs for the rest of his life.

So maybe I didn't hee-haw constantly but I still had fun.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

This movie should come with a warning label: DO NOT WATCH WITH A COMIC BOOK FAN UNLESS THEY ARE THE (NON-EXISTENT) TYPE WHO LIKES TO PAUSE THE MOVIE AND ANSWER 'STUPID' QUESTIONS. My husband is not that type of comic book fan. (Did you guess that?) I'm not sure, but he may regret that he chose this movie.

I've never been into comic books, but I have seen all of the X-Men movies. I actually kind of have fond memories of X-Men: The Last Stand because Hud and I went to the theater to see it two weeks before our third child was born. I'm still waiting for the sequel to that one (and if you noticed the chess piece moving at the end, you're probably waiting for the sequel too). According to imdb, I'll just have to keep waiting for it, because they're working on a sequel to this one instead.

This movie seemed darker and less bubble-gum than the original X-Men movie. I also thought it seemed more comic-book-y (I based this opinion on Gambit attacking by tossing a deck of cards like belt-fed Chinese throwing stars) but Hud disagreed. And since he knows comic books far better than I do, I will have to defer to him.

Wolverine is my favorite of the X-Men, but only because under all of that silly facial hair he's still Hugh Jackman. Well, also because he spends a good bit of the movie shirtless or in that nice tight wife-beater you see in the picture. Just look at those shoulders! Oops, I'm drooling.

This movie is for comic book fans. Or Hugh Jackman fans who can manage to block out icky facial hair.

Valentine's Day

Do you ever judge a movie by its previews? I don't mean by its own trailers--I mean by those they show at the beginning of the DVD. Let's see. Valentine's Day showed previews for Dr. Zhivago and Gone With the Wind, but I was not fooled into thinking this would be an epic love story. And then . . . a preview for Sex and the City 2. Uh oh. But wait . . . there's more! An advertisement for The Bachelor: The Video Game! It was not looking good. Just who is in this movie's demographic anyway? Besides, um, not me?

Well, fortunately it wasn't quite as bad as I was expecting from the previews. It was actually pretty cute. Or at least it wasn't completely stupid. It certainly had its annoyingly inane parts, but happily they were outnumbered by the parts that made me smile. I was actually even surprised by two little parts that I might even dare to call heartwarming. The rest of it was predictable, but sweet. Except for the stupid annoying narrator. Best part: the clips during the end credits.

I can't help but wonder if Patrick Dempsey works juggling into all of his movies. OK, so maybe this was only the second time I've seen him juggling, but it may also be only the second time I've seen Patrick Dempsey in a movie. It wasn't anything as impressive as plates this time, but it was still way more impressive than anything I could have done.

Caché (Hidden)

I am stalking Bride of the Screen God's movies. I'd not heard of this one until I read her review of it about a month ago. I think what made me decide to watch it was her mention of the "WTF ending." It was kind of like a challenge--would I be able to figure out what was going on?

Apparently, the answer to that question is . . . no. I was still sitting there waiting for an explanation when all of a sudden the credits were rolling. I think I have figured out who sent the tapes--my guess is that it was two of the characters in collusion with one another, neither of whom was Majid; the two in question are shown having a conversation in the very last scene--but I'm distinctly uncertain. My explanation is mere hypothesis. Even if I'm right about the "who," I'm not sure I understand the "why," especially for one of the two.

It's funny, because although there were many long moments where nothing much happened in the movie, every bit was imbued with suspense. Nothing was happening, but I felt continually sure something was about to, and this kept me on the edge of my seat. There was one unexpected Holy Crap moment, tempered by disbelief (would it really go that quickly?) but the rest of the film was surprisingly devoid of startling events.

I'd never noticed it before, but it's funny how much Angry Juliette Binoche looks like my sister when she flips out. Not like I'd mistake one for the other, but their mannerisms are very similar. You wouldn't want to experience it.

Dorian Gray

Is it bad that I pick movies based on the cute boys who are in them? Ben Barnes is not hard to look at. Except when he is raptly gazing about London with such an expression of naive innocence that he seems to be putting on an act. (Which he is, of course, but we are not supposed to be reminded of this fact while watching a movie.)

But Ben Barnes is not the only reason I watched this movie. We're back to that compulsion of watching every available film adaptation of the books I read.

It's difficult to avoid comparing the movie to the excellent book. Where the book was more nuanced and subtle, the movie was more creepified and overt. The book was intriguing and thought-provoking, but the movie took the book's concept and created what might almost be called a horror movie (or at least a thriller) out of it. The basic story is the same, and I even recognized a couple of direct quotes from the book, but overall the movie is given that distinct Hollywood sheen.

Not that this is entirely a bad thing. The movie made use of aspects of the medium that are not available in print, and this is as it should be. If a movie has nothing to add, why even make it in the first place? Anyway, as book-to-movie adaptations go, they did a fairly good job with this one; and, when I attempt to look at the movie as its own entity, I think it makes a perfectly entertaining and enjoyable way to spend an evening. Especially if you get to drink a glass of wine while watching.